Why The Vampire Diaries is one of the best vampire shows that has been on TV since True Blood

Happy Tuesday everyone! It pretty much feels like Monday to me since I had yesterday off work (thank you Presidents Day) so I am definitely having a tough time keeping focus and staying awake. I hope everyone had a good weekend and holiday, if you also had the day off, and are ready for the return of The Vampire Diaries!

Okay so I am not sure how many of you out there watch this show and I am sure the ones who don’t are probably thinking that it is some stupid teen Vampire show similar to Twilight. If that is what you are thinking let me tell you I thought the exact same thing and boy was I wrong. My sister has been trying to convince me to give this show a chance for like EVER it seems like and I just kept telling her there was no way in hell I was going to watch it. When it comes to Vampires I am super particular about what I watch, especially since the author of Twilight totally butchered the the traditional ideals that have been around since Dracula, I mean honestly who does that woman think she is? Anyway that is why I was so hesitant in giving this show even a moment of my precious time (because my life is just so busy).

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I had a four day weekend and was still without a car at the time so I was prepared to spend all of my time at home watching Netflix. I couldn’t think of what to watch and went to my sister for a suggestion which is where she brought up The Vampire Diaries again. Before I could even argue she said “Look I promise you that this show is nothing like Twilight and if you just give one episode a chance and honestly hate it then I will never bug you about it again”. So I gave in and watched an episode and I was hooked. I spent the entire holiday weekend watching the show and pretty much finished all four seasons by the time work started up again.

vdiariesThe show definitely stays pretty true to the history of Vampires: need to be invited into a house before being able to enter, ability to compel (known as glamor in True Blood), witches, werewolves, doppelgangers, and even has Originals and tells you a story of how the Vampire race was created. No sparkling in the daylight, actually no going in the daylight at all, unless you’re friends with a witch who can put a spell on a piece of jewelry for you to wear (if it ever comes off you’re toast). The best part is that for being on the CW it is surprisingly violent and sexy, way more than I imagined on just a regular cable program, which definitely held my interest. Oh and the hot cast of characters doesn’t hurt either (both guys and girls) and the soundtrack is pretty impressive.

Another great thing about this show is that from it came the spin off show The Originals which is brand new and is the entire focus is on Vampires who were introduced to us in The Vampire Diaries as the Original family. It is also set in New Orleans which is great because who doesn’t love a show about Vampires filmed in Louisiana? They even continue to inter-mingle characters from both shows into episodes from each show, it is seriously brilliant, and gives me two separate nights of watching great shows with super hot actors.

Still not convinced? See for yourself. I seriously dare you to start watching season one of this show and not get hooked. Especially for the True Blood fans out there, we all know how much we loved it when it came out but honestly it has really gone down hill the last few seasons, and we need a new Vampire show to get our blood pumping! This is the one I promise!

“I think I might have inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You’ve gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me”

(Lyrics above Bloodstream by Stateless)

xoxo.

[Currently Watching: The Vampire Diaries]

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No lies, just Love.

Well it’s been a while but I’m back and just in time for a post inspired by everyone’s favorite/least favorite holiday: Valentines Day.

I’m not going to lie here I definitely struggled with this one. I was torn between the decision to write my normal pessimistic views and ideals or to take a more optimistic route. I know it seems like the obvious choice would be the negative one but I feel like it’s time to spice things up a bit. I have never really celebrated Valentines Day before and I don’t really see a huge reason to. I mean don’t get me wrong I think it’s nice to have a night of romance and love and etc. But I feel like because it is set on one day there is so much pressure to plan the perfect night or get the perfect gift. And if you’re single you freak out about the idea of spending the evening alone. It is SO STRESSFUL!

Let me tell you though, after 26 years here on earth, the best advice I can give in regards to love is to never look for it. Let it find you. The universe will make things happen on their own you can’t force it and you shouldn’t want to. Trust me, it’s worth the wait, and it’s really nice when someone comes into your life when you least expect it. (I cannot confirm nor deny if I’m speaking from recent experience lol).

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I apologize for how long it has been since my last post and I hope to get back into posting regularly now that my life is less chaotic. Hope you all had an enjoyable Valentines Day, whether you spent it with a significant other, friends, or even by yourself. Now I’ve stayed up way too late watching Dexter but at least I got this post done for all of you!

xoxo.

[Currently listening to: Lover I don’t Have to Love by Bright Eyes]

Even the best fall down sometimes…

Hello everyone. Sorry it’s been so long, but if you read my last post then you know I have been busy with some personal stuff, and I’m still pretty busy so I may not be able to post as often as I would like.

Well a lot has happened recently. I am sure all of you have read or heard about the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman. What a tragedy. I, myself, am a huge movie fan and I have just loved everything he has ever been in. It really makes me sick, like déjà vu with Cory Monteith all over again (even tho obviously they do not compare in their careers as actors) it still affects me just as much. To think that living with so much talent, adored by so many fans, he still died all alone. At the hands of such a nightmare of a drug.

“Rock bottom is an inability to cope with the commonplace that is so extreme it makes even the grandest and loveliest things unbearable…Rock bottom is everything out of focus. It’s a failure of vision, a failure to see the world as it is, to see the good in what it is, and only to wonder why the hell things look the way they do and not some other way.” -Prozac Nation

Obviously it’s a dark time for me right now, death is difficult for everyone, and we all deal with it in different ways. One thing I can say is that no matter what demons you may be facing, just remember you’re not alone, even if you feel like you are. I get that it’s hard to see how the decisions you make can affect the people around you but they do. So just stop and think.

“What you feel only matters to you. It’s what you do to the people you say you love. That’s what matters. That’s the only thing that counts” -The Last Kiss

xoxo.

[Currently Listening to: Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson]

I always figured there’d be time enough, I never let it get me down

Good morning everyone. I hope you have all enjoyed your weekend. I turned 26 yesterday (February 1st) and did my best to celebrate despite everything that is going on in my life right now.

This won’t be long, just wanted to post some beautiful song lyrics that I have been listening to during this difficult time in my life, and have a post dedicated to my Mother RIP.

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Maureen Alyson Lovretovich
July 6, 1954 – January 27, 2014

“Be still and know that I’m with you,
Be still and know that I am here.
Be still and know that I’m with you,
Be still, be still, and know.

When darkness comes upon you,
And covers you with fear and shame.
Be still and know that I’m with you,
And I will say your name.

If terror falls upon your bed,
And sleep no longer comes.
Remember all the words I said,
Be still, be still, and know.

When you go through the valley,
And the shadow comes down from the hill.
If morning never comes to be,
Be still, be still, be still.

If you forget the way to go,
And lose where you came from.
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am

Be still and know that I’m with you,
Be still and know I am.”

Thank you to everyone for writing me their condolences and also birthday wishes, it means a great deal to have such an amazing support system, I am so lucky. My family is very strong and we have each other to get through this unfortunate time. Love and gratitude to all of our friends!

xoxo.

[Listening to: Be Still by The Fray]

You love, love, love… When you know I can’t love.

Hello everyone. Well I spent the day watching my favorite movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s so I decided to write a post about not only how lovely it is but how much I relate to not only Audrey Hepburn (in all her classy glory) but also her character Holly Golightly.

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20140127-013925.jpg   At first glance when you meet Holly you see a girl who is superficial only going after rich men because she wants to use them for their money. But if you look a little deeper what you find is a girl that is just scared to let any man get too close, she doesn’t want to fall in love, and risk losing her identity in someone else. I think a lot of girls can relate to that. Especially those of us who are independent free spirits, the mere thought of being tied down, makes us run for the hills.
But of course the bottom line is that if we live in fear then we won’t ever really get to experience what great love could be in store for us. Right?

“You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.”

xoxo.

[Listening to: Love Love Love By Of Monsters and Men]

I don’t love you but I always will.

Hello everyone. Sorry it has been so long since my last post but since I had such a busy weekend with moving and everything I just decided to wait until I was all settled and could dedicate some real time to a post for you! I hope you all had a good weekend and MLK day, I had the day off work which was nice and spent it in Manhattan Beach with my sister and best friend, very fun!

Anyway, for today I have a difficult topic to cover, and it is an ongoing struggle that I feel most people have to deal with. Have you ever found yourself attracted to the wrong person? I mean not wrong in the sense that they are bad, but that they don’t share the same feelings for you, and yet you can’t seem to shake your feelings for them. It is such a feeling of being torn on the inside like your mind knows that you need to give it a rest and see what else is out there but your heart will not allow you to truly have the same kind of feelings for anyone else. Talk about BRUTAL.

“Baby you’ve got the sort of laugh that waters me
And makes me grow tall and strong and proud and flattens me
I find you stunning, but you are running me down
My love’s too big for you my love” -Ingrid Michaelson

It is tough even though you meet other people and you think “wow this person could really work out for me” and yet you still hold back because you feel guilty that you still love this other person so much. Even though there is nothing with that other person and maybe there never was. It is almost as if it isn’t up to you, like no matter what, you are still going to be bound by this love you have for them. Like it says in the picture above “I don’t have a choice but I’d still choose you” it is just one of those things that you cannot control but even if you could deep down you know you would pick them every time. Maybe it is the whole wanting something you can’t have idea who knows… All I know is that I for one feel it is unfair to begin having a relationship with someone when you still harbor feelings for another.

“Tell me what to do to take away the you?” -Ingrid Michaelson

So what do you do? Do you remain alone until you figure this situation out? Or is it like one of those things where you have to attempt dating someone else to truly get it out of your mind? Why is it that these situations get such a grip on us! In the beginning it is never like this, you all know the way it goes down too: You meet. Become friends. One flirts with the other. The other takes this as a signal and beings to like them. When confronted about it the one explains that they had no idea and they thought it was just friendship. The other is confused and upset but gets over it. The one starts acting weird so the other creates distance and starts to feel better, maybe even meets someone. The one sees the other out with someone else or whatever and gets jealous, starts to text and call again, get back in the others head. It works and the other falls for it and the one gains the power back by turning the tables. Does this sound familiar?

Truth is it happens all too often because there are some people who don’t like you but they enjoy you liking them and they don’t want you to like anyone else. It is all very weird and annoying and that is part of the reason they stay inside your head for as long as they do because of that damn table-turning! Lol. A friend of mine has experienced this recently and hearing about it literally gives me flashbacks of it happening to me and it drives me CRAZY.

Relationships are just so messy and complicated and I feel as though I have gotten to the point where I have become so comfortable being single that I am nervous that I enjoy it more than dating and I am not sure I really want to dive back into that chaos any time soon. I prefer a phantom boyfriend any day!

xoxo.

[Currently listening to: Supernumerary by Vanaprasta]

Well it is Thursday everyone which means yesterday was Wednesday and THAT means American Horror Story [Season 3] Coven was on! I am not sure how many of you do or do not watch this show but in my opinion it is one of the most unique shows out there. Ryan Murphy basically created a show where each season focuses on a set of specific fears or supernatural ideas, however, he uses the SAME actors each season to play different characters! He can do this because each season is like it’s very own show, they do not go in any order, nor do they coincide with one another. It is amazing especially if you are like me and sometimes miss a season of a show (you don’t need to watch the previous before the new one starts). He also adds new actors to the original cast to keep you on your toes so you don’t get too bored seeing the same faces.

amerhorrotitleSo, let’s start with Season One, shall we? There is no title to this season. It was the first one so it was just called American Horror Story, but the theme was Murder House, and it took place in present day Hollywood. Most people couldn’t get through it because they found it too confusing. You see, although it was set in present day, it continued to flash back to different time periods to tell a story of every family who lived in the house at one point in time. Reason being that the house was cursed and if you died on the property your soul would be trapped in the house forever (so there were a bunch of ghosts roaming about). Also, the ghosts can choose who can see them and when they want to be seen, so that confused some people as well. All in all it was a rough start for the show but honestly if you sit through it and pay attention it really was a pretty decent season. Some well known actors too: Jessica Lange, Evan Pearson, Dylan McDermott, Zachary Quinto, Kate Mara, Sarah Paulson, Taissa Farmiga (most know her older sister) I mean the list goes on.

“Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I was destined for great things. I was going to be somebody. Person of significance. Star of the silver screen, I once thought. But… my dreams became nightmares. Instead of laurels, funeral wreaths. Instead of glory, heh, bitter disappointment. Cruel afflictions. Now I understand. Tragedy was preparing me for something greater. Every loss that came before was a lesson. I was being prepared” -Jessica Lange (Playing Constance)

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Now for Season Two: Asylum, which has been my absolute FAVORITE so far. The theme of this season was a Catholic Insane Asylum (hence the title). It starts out in present day with the Asylum being abandoned and a young couple entering to explore while on their honeymoon of “exploring the top haunted locations in America” or something. As the show actually starts it takes place in the 1960’s I believe and it goes forward from there with no flashbacks (making it less confusing) only periodically some flash forwards to the present (where the show originally picks up). Now the whole set of this season is by far the best, I mean the Asylum itself is so dark and creepy, and then to top it off Jessica Lange as a bitchy Nun? I mean it is just pure genius. Some new actors were added to the cast including: Adam Levine (small part), Joseph Fiennes, and Chloe Sevigny. The storyline is much easier to follow and definitely has more depth to it from aliens, to mental patients, and it wouldn’t be a Catholic Asylum without an appearance by Satan himself. Not to mention you have Zachary Quinto playing a sexy psychiatrist (yum). The best part was that it continued to stay on one path the entire show even with all the different sub plots going on and it all somehow ties together in the end so you are not left anything short of satisfied. HIGHLY RECOMMEND it. (Warning: it is more graphic than the first season and there are some scenes that some people I have talked to said they could not watch, so keep that in mind, but I really loved it).

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“All Monsters are Human. You are a Monster.” – Jessica Lange (Playing Sister Jude)

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Finally on to Season Three: Coven. This is the one that is currently on TV right now and I am sure you can guess that it is OBVIOUSLY about witches. It begins in New Orleans in the house of Delphine LaLaurie (look her up she is based on a real person). This was the time of slavery and she used to torture and kill her slaves, some even say she was an Elizabeth Bathory type woman who thought their blood on her skin could help her keep her youth. This character is played by the one and only Kathy Bates and let me tell you she does such an excellent job. In this same opening you see one of her slaves that she tortures is the lover of a famous practitioner of Voodoo, Marie Laveau, also based off of a real person and played by Angela Bassett. Now although these characters are based off real people remember that the story is not entirely accurate. From there the show moves forward to 300 years after Salem where witches have been forced into hiding due to fear of being found out and killed. A school is opened in Louisiana for young witches to be safe and to learn about their magic and etc. The new actors added to this season (in addition to the ones listed above) are Emma Roberts, Gabourey Sidibe, and of course the White Witch herself: Stevie Nicks. Obviously in all stories of witches and covens there is a counsel and in this shows case a Supreme who is played by Jessica Lange (who else?) and the entire show takes place in the present day besides maybe a few flash backs when discussing where they came from and their past, etc. This season has two more episodes left and although I am enjoying it very much I still stick with my original favorite which is Season Two.

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“I am a Millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us “the Global Generation.” We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up. Others think it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering. I know I did anything I could to not feel. Sex, drugs, booze. Just take away the pain. Take away my mother and my asshole father. And the press, and all the boys I loved who wouldn’t love me back. Hell, I was gang raped, and two days later I was back in class like nothing happened. I mean, that must have hurt like hell, right? Most people never get over stuff like that, and I was, like, “Let’s go for Jamba juice.” I would give everything I have or will ever have just to feel pain again. To hurt.” -Emma Roberts (Playing Maddison Montgomery)

As far as Season Four goes: Rumor has it that the theme will be Circus and I gotta tell you if that is true then I can only imagine what kind of freaks await us!

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All I know is that I am utterly shocked that Ryan Murphy is also the creator of Glee (even though I do love that show as well) it is just odd to me seeing as the two are just so completely different!!! If you have not started this show yet then I suggest you start watching! Season One and Two are both on Netflix. I hope I didn’t give away any spoilers for you but I am pretty sure nothing I said is going to ruin anything in any of the seasons for you. If you already watch it then enjoy the last two episodes of Coven, and Remember: On Wednesdays, WE WEAR BLACK!

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xoxo.

[Currently watching: American Horror Story COVEN]

Why I love American Horror Story, and why you should too!

Well it seems to be that time again my lovely blog readers. Before I start into today’s post I would like everyone to just take a moment to admire how amazing the above photo is. Everything about it is just pure beauty to me. It is the perfect example of how to portray desire and sex in a sultry yet tasteful way. It is not too revealing but it is not too PG either, you see, it shows enough to put the idea of sex in your mind but still leaves most of it up to your own imagination. Truth is, our imagination is always ten THOUSAND times better than a picture anyways, right?

The lyrics I added to the photo are from the song The Bad in Each Other by Feist (which I highly recommend you all listen to… like right now). The song explains how two people can be good separately but then they begin to date and can’t seem to find that good in one another (that they have by themselves) what happens next is each person brings out the worst side in the other. I am sure some of you out there know what I am talking about. The more you try to make it work the more it doesn’t work at all.

“This is for everything we ever got wrong, and how we loved each other, in all the wrong ways.”

Sometimes you get in a relationship like this and it comes to a point where you are honestly BEGGING for it to end in any way possible… because you just cannot stand this person that you have become by being with them. It sounds terrible but it is so true you like wish they would just fuck up and cheat on you or something to make it easy. But if they don’t and obviously you don’t want to be the one to cheat so for some reason even though everything about you two being together is wrong you two still keep at it.

I think for me I really loved the fact that we brought those sides out of one another. When I met my ex boyfriend he was so shy and quiet I never for a second thought he would ever show me the side he later revealed. So once he did, even though it scared me, it also gave me this sort of adrenaline rush. I know it sounds so stupid and trust me it really was I definitely don’t recommend it (but hey it was a learning experience). Also I felt that I was there to like help him or something you know? Make his life better? I don’t know it is just so like me to try and “rescue” everyone even when they may not need it or ask for it. But he made me feel like that was who I was to him. So there I was blinded by that idea and instead of seeing the bad parts I was REALLY bringing out I was convinced I was helping him grow and mature (aka bringing out a good side of him). “Hi, my name is Kara, I used to be so naive it’s pathetic”. Wow feels good to get that off my chest. LOL.

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The thing to remember is that you may appear to be everything to that person at that point in both of your lives but imagine how much BETTER you could be once you are free from it? I mean I feel like you could be with someone who treats you like a Princess/Prince and that is nice and all…. but what about someone out there who is willing to treat you like a Queen/King?

“I read with every broken heart we should become more adventurous”  -Rilo Kiley

So honestly if you are out there wishing for your relationship to fail do not sit there and beat yourself up thinking you’re a bad person. Yes they may be an amazing boyfriend/girlfriend but you know what? So are YOU. So do the both of you a favor and just end it, before you do something stupid like hurt one another, because no one likes a messy breakup. We are all adults here after all.

xoxo.

[Currently listening to: Silver Lining by Rilo Kiley]

I never felt so wicked as when I willed our love to die.

How thirsty is too thirsty?

Well it is Monday everyone and you know what that means: the weekend is over and I hope everyone has some fun stories to tell! As for me, Friday night was definitely memorable, and I am going to share it with all of you.

I am not sure how familiar all of you are with the clubs of Hollywood but there is one called Supperclub and it has always shown me a good time. So on Friday night me and my girlfriends decide we want to go out and I text some friends of mine that are promoters and they make it happen. We meet up with them at their MANSION of a house (not even joking it was huge) and we pile in their car heading to Hollywood Blvd.

20140112-230423.jpgOnce we get to the club we walk right in and head to the table. The bottles arrive and we just start drinking and dancing and having a blast. This is exactly what we needed. The shots start coming the drinks are constantly refilled and it’s only a matter of time before we are all feeling pretty tipsy. The DJ wasn’t bad either, I think the only bad thing was the constant long line to the women’s bathroom, and the kinky vending machine placed outside selling condoms and lube (so gross). All in all the time spent in the club was extremely fun and we danced all night!

This is when it gets rough. Our ride tells us it is time to go NOW and by this time I am the only sober one between me and my two friends so I had to round them up. One of them was in the upstairs bathroom and one of them was being held on to for DEAR LIFE by some desperate guy. Now I don’t mind being patient for you to give my girl your number, but once that is done and I’m trying to get her out but you still won’t let her go, pretty douche bag move. I mean yeah she was wasted so it was hard to convince her it was time to leave but he understood perfectly but he was just an asshole. Because there is thirsty and there is too thirsty ya know? That guy was just TOO THIRSTY! Lol!

20140112-232045.jpgAnyway, we get to the car and everything seems fine, after a few minutes of driving I hear from one of my friends next to me “I need to throw up”. Next thing you know I’m screaming “she’s gonna throw up pull over!” Because of course I’m by the door and I don’t want to get puked on! We pull over I jump out and she starts throwing up, when she seems finished I clean her up and we get back in, leaving her by the door. The rest of the way home driving down the 405 she has her head out the window puking down the side of the car (still feel terrible about that) while I am holding her hair out of her face. We get back to the house and we all go in, I directly walk to the patio for a cigarette of course, and when I come back in this is where I see my friend:

Hahaha gotta love it right?! She was such a champ though I mean she seriously drank SO much I felt so bad for her being that sick (although my other friend and I did get some entertainment from it lol). It took some serious effort but we got her in the backseat of my car and we got back to her house safely and passed out around 4-5am? Pretty solid Friday night if you ask me. Of course my friend suffered a rough hangover the following morning.

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Hope she has recovered by now! Lol! Last night was fun went to a BBQ and drank champagne then got to hangout with my brothers pup all day today! Hope you all had a memorable weekend!

xoxo.

[Currently watching: The Vampire Diaries]

Class is knowing what to say, when to say it, and when to stop.

Happy Friday everyone! Wow am I happy this week is over! This weekend is definitely going to be a fun one so I am going to make this short so I can get going and head out to embark on the adventures that await me!

So for today’s post I wanted to cover this topic that has been REALLY bothering me lately. The thing is, a few years ago my self esteem was SO low, and I use to speak and behave in this manner that was just so appalling. I do not know how anyone could stand to be around me. It isn’t like I didn’t realize it either I really did I just didn’t care. I was all like “whatever this is me and I am not going to change for anyone bla bla bla” totally lame and annoying. The point is that it wasn’t me. It was just this girl I was pretending to be because I thought that is what guys wanted to hear or see or whatever. So I would speak about sex and act like I was so “down” for anything. Really just class-less behavior. The worst part is that I played the part so well that no one ever saw how much it was destroying me inside. They all thought “wow Kara is such a down ass girl” or “I wish I could be like Kara and sleep with a guy and not let it bother me. She is so strong and independent” and etc.

I mean I heard tons of different stuff from both guys and girls. And yeah of course I was extremely independent, I had to be, I was ALONE. Oh and strength, yeah I had plenty of that, from building that massive wall up around my emotions to protect me from feeling anything at all. Problem is that not feeling anything also made it easier for me to hurt others and not give a shit either. So in a sense I was one doing to others what I was so afraid of being done to me. And all that trashy whore talk really didn’t attract the most positive attention (imagine that right?) So I always ended up with these ASSHOLES who literally thought they could treat me however they wanted and I would be… how do you guys put it again? Oh yeah, “down”, so freaking stupid. But could I blame them? Uh, no, I mean I was basically playing this part of a girl who was like that. Unfortunately this is real life and not a TV show or a movie so it is not like I could just break character whenever I wanted. Hey, my ex boyfriend always said what an amazing actress I was, so I would just wait until I got home to wallow in self pity and cry about how much I loathed my existence.

I know this same subject can bring up controversial subjects like rape where the same argument can be said about how girls behave a certain way but it doesn’t mean they deserve to be raped. and I totally agree with you 100% because no definitely means no. I am not by any means saying that during this identity crisis of mine that I was constantly taken advantage of. However, I do agree that as women if we choose to put up that facade for men, then we need to be ready to deal with the consequences and we may not like what they are. It is your right as a woman to behave however you like and just because you act like you love sex and want it all the time “no strings attached” it doesn’t mean you actually do. But you DO see that in doing so you may give off the wrong impression and get yourself stuck in a predicament every now and then, resulting in being called names like “slut” “tease” or even worse, you may get an asshole that thinks you owe him what you lead on.

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Anyways, what I came to figure out, was that all of my self destruction was created by me. I mean sure I had help from the guys I allowed in my life because of how little I valued my self worth. But even if I thought highly of myself and acted more like a lady I wouldn’t have ever permitted those guys to be in my life nor would I have allowed myself to be degraded in some of the ways I have been. Now when I see girls act a certain way or speak in a vulgar manner it honestly just gets under my skin. I just hear them say “well this is me I can’t change who I am” and I want to just smack them. I have been there, this is not you, stop lying to yourself.

To be completely 100% open and honest here I will tell you that there are things from my past that still haunt me to this day. I mean, nightmares and paranoia, just absolute fear. I am not sure I will ever really forget it and I am not sure I want to. Because it has really opened my eyes to how bad things can get when you don’t respect yourself. I have met women out there, BEAUTIFUL young women, that have so much potential but are so lost. It breaks my heart and it makes me so thankful that I no longer feel as if I am worthless.

We are women. We have so much power and some of us don’t even know it. And no, it isn’t just in our body or our looks. It is in our mind. I guarantee the more secure you become with yourself the more confidence you’ll gain and the more positive feedback you’ll get. If you act like a little girl you will not only be treated like one but you will end up with a little boy. If you think you’re ready for an adult relationship then you need to act like one.

Also, a real man/woman doesn’t send pictures of his privates via text message when you first meet and aren’t even dating. So if you ask for them you risk turning him off for fear of thinking you are either immature or promiscuous, OR you will get a picture in which case he is probably a complete tool. Doesn’t anyone believe in romance and seduction anymore?

Everyone just wants their quick fix, their instant gratification, no work all play.

xoxo.

[Currently listening to: “Silhouettes” By Of Monsters & Men]

Hello everyone! For today’s post I wanted to cover a VERY popular subject that I often see debated shortly after someone watches the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Now if you have not seen this movie I recommend you put it on the MUST SEE list, not only is it very artistically done with the cinematography and soundtrack, but it has a lovely cast AND it is on Netflix instant queue! Anyway, just in case there are some of you who have not seen it, I will be sure not to spoil it for you.

Here is my question:

If you had the opportunity to erase someone from your memory, would you do it?

ETERNAL SUNSHINE

I mean we have all thought about it right? Some of us have even said it when we are mad/angry. The whole “I wish I had never met you” fight. But when push comes to shove, do you REALLY think you could do it? I have thought about this same question myself many times, and although I have a pretty even list of pros and cons, my end result is always the same. I know I was supposed to meet that person for a reason no matter how HORRIBLE things turn out. The biggest problem I have is that you have to erase the good with the bad, you can’t just pick and choose, and I believe that the good ALWAYS out weighs the bad. Maybe not enough to stay together or make things work but enough to make you thankful for the times you shared with that person.

No matter how many times I have cried. been hurt, or even suffered some sort of emotional or physical trauma, I know that if I erased that person a part of my life would be empty. There would be a gap in my history and a big confusion as to why I may be a certain way. Perhaps the time spent with that person changed me, caused me to grow as a person, erasing them wouldn’t erase who I have become because of them. Doesn’t mean I am going to send them a thank you card though lol.

So think about it, in all your life experiences, what would you choose?

If you haven’t seen the movie I highly suggest you do it is really good but make sure you pay attention because it moves kind of quick and can get a bit confusing. Feedback is always appreciated so please comment your responses and Topic Requests are always welcome!

xoxo.

[Currently listening to: “Poison and Wine” by The Civil Wars]

Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better, even of their blunders. -Nietzsche

Your heart is a stone buried beneath your pretty clothes. Don’t you know people write songs about girls like you?

 

Good evening friends and followers. Hope you all enjoyed your weekend because I definitely did. I am so thankful for my friend Sabrina because she made it a priority to ensure I had a fun time to get my mind off recent bad situations I’ve experienced! She is seriously the best!

Anyways tonight’s post may be a little short because I’m extremely sore from yoga and exhausted! But I wanted to make it a point to cover the subject of a specific type of girl. And this is not coming from a place where I think I am better than anyone else because I believe we have all been a different form of this girl once in our lives. We all have insecurities and sometimes we care a little too much about what people think. However there is a point where most of us grow out of this but some girls just don’t and some girls honestly take it a little too far, it just drives me so crazy.

To see women behave in such a way where they not only disrespect themselves but other people around them? It makes me sad! I mean these girls know they’re beautiful and they know they have guys eating out of the palm of their hands so they use it to their advantage no matter if it hurts them in the end. It’s ridiculous!

So as it says in the lyrics above (which is a song I recently discovered) what would these girls do if people started to see who they REALLY were? What if they lost the looks, the makeup, the clothes? How would they survive if guys stopped chasing after them giving them endless attention? Because they need that don’t they?

There will come a time when you want to settle down and get married and guys don’t want to marry girls who play dumb and play games and tease and put on a show. Real men want to marry real women. We can’t constantly complain about how shitty guys are in the world when there are so many girls who act the way they do.

I’ll end this post with some advice for all the girls out there: seek respect not attention! It lasts longer.

xoxo.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a safe and eventful New Year’s Eve! I hate to start 2014 off with a post like this but due to recent events I just have to! Unfortunately because of the very personal nature of the situation I am not going to go into the details of it in relation to my life but I will speak about the subject in general.

Basically, in a nutshell, I spent a day questioning myself and wondering how I could be so easily disposable to another person. I’m sure many of you out there have felt that way and it really sucks. Whether it be by a boyfriend, girlfriend, regular friend, or even a family member… It fucking hurts.

I don’t know if anything quite compares to how much damage that can cause. I mean as human beings our self esteem is so fragile that even the smallest thing like someone NOT wanting to be our friend anymore can completely shatter it and make us question what kind of friend we are. This just isn’t okay, I mean what gives a person the right to make someone question their self worth? I literally cannot wrap my head around it.

People just honestly blow my mind. They are so horrible to one another and it just makes me sad. I mean of course it upsets me when it is happening to me personally but even more so when I see it happening to the people around me. It’s no secret that we need human relationships to survive in this world, so why, WHY do we insist on being so horrible and keeping everyone at arms length? Why in friendships/relationships does one have to feel superior to the other? Maybe if we focused more energy on keeping our own self esteem up we wouldn’t be so dependent on other people to raise it.

I have a few resolutions this year: I want to get back on track with getting my associates degree, I want to travel more to see my friends that live in other states, I want to start raising my credit, and most important, I want to stop putting so much time and energy into people who are so willing to push me aside whenever they feel like it.

I just want to be happy and I don’t want to have to work so hard to do it. I want it to come naturally. Because life is such a beautiful thing and I am so grateful to have it. If someone doesn’t want to share this journey with me then that is their loss not mine.

xoxo.

I don’t understand why people, why every fucking person, is so bad to each other so fucking often. It doesn’t make sense to me.

Yours is the first face that I saw. I swear I was blind before I met you.

Happy Holidays everyone! I hope everyone had a great time with their loved ones and got to enjoy some time off work like I did!

This post is inspired by a married couple that I have had the pleasure of witnessing recently that made my jaw literally drop in awe of the romance I noticed still fresh in their relationship. At first I assumed they were newlyweds and shortly after I discovered that they have been together for years. So I took it upon myself to ask the husband his opinion on what it is that makes them still so in love to this day.

It’s funny because I come from divorced parents and a lot of the married couples I see nowadays are remarried or separated etc. So it is definitely rare to experience this fresh type of love I see when I see this couple together. And even when I asked him about it, and he was sharing how they met and got together, his eyes just lit up and it was really amazing. He shared with me that a lot of it is faith but also just making one another a better person. He stated that he is such a big kid and she embraces that but also brings out the adult in him and that he brings out the kid in her. They compliment each other in such a way that it just works. And it makes sense. I mean I have seen it with my own two eyes. Or that when he gets home from a rough day maybe after sitting in traffic and she asks how his day was and he snaps “oh it was horrible I just sat in traffic for two hours bla bla bla” and most women might let that get to them like they’re taking it out on them and get upset but she just says “okay well I’m sorry about that but that isn’t my fault” and he thinks “wow you’re right it’s not your fault”. It was really remarkable to get this point of view for myself, as most of you know, my idea of relationships lasting is quite negative. He also shared with me that they went on a few dates and then he was moving and a year later when he kne we was moving back he knew he had to call her because she was so fun, and she was dating someone else, so he told her when it ends he will be taking her out. And he did.

It was all so very romantic and inspiring so I had to ask his permission to share it in this blog. I felt I owed my readers a positive blog on love and relationships especially in the midst of the holiday season. Lol. I hope you all enjoyed this one and I hope you all get the chance to experience this one-of-a-kind type of love. I know when I see these two together it gives me hope that maybe one day I will meet the one for me and it will be just as full as romance and love as this one is!

xoxo.

I’ve loved and I’ve lost

Happy weekend everyone. There seems to be a pattern with my posts about love being all about loss. This song I posted above is a favorite of mine and it’s what inspired this post.

So yeah, it is technically about love ending, but it is also about the realization that one can love again once it is over. I’ve been spending so much time focusing on the faults of relationships. It’s distracted me from the actual thought of diving into a new one. I guess in the midst of everything the underlying issue is the fear that I may not be capable of enduring another relationship. And I just want the reassurance that I will still be able to see “fireworks” or whatever that will get my blood pumping and heart racing. And know that it’s also okay to be scared because sometimes stuff doesn’t work out but I will survive.

I will end this with a quote from Grey’s Anatomy that I really love:

“There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t because I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I love someone and it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone because what if you learn you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This could go on forever.”

xoxo.