I can take so much, til I’ve had enough

Expectations. We all have them, some very high, and some very low. When people get into the habit of expecting too much they set themselves up for disappointment and it is like a disease it just spreads and people end up missing out on simple joys in life because of it.

The song I posted above has been a favorite of mine recently. When I look back on all the times I had people counting on me I am reminded only of the pressure I felt. It is the most stressful thing to have people looking for you to do something: graduate from college, make a relationship work, keep a good job… And when you are unable to hold all of that together it’s as if people forget what it is like themselves and just question every choice you made as if it were the wrong one.

The truth is that we are all fantastic actors, we can fake anything, and a lot of the time we do. I had a boyfriend tell me once that I was such an amazing actress during a fight because I started crying. And although I was not acting in that moment and it actually upset me even more when he said that, all I could think about was how natural it felt, and how all the times I was with him and not being sad was the moments I was in fact playing a part. We all do that a little more than we would care to admit.

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that’s what you ask
Give you all I am”

Let me tell you, my ex boyfriend was right, I am a great actress. I mean half the time when my world is falling apart it appears as though I have everything in complete control. I do not know why I do this. It is natural for people to struggle and there is no shame in it, but I guess it is my pride, and the fear of appearing weak. This, however, has been one of my greatest downfalls in my past. Working so hard to hold everything together and not show how much I am struggling only led be to overwhelming stress which eventually assisted in my struggle to keep myself from drowning.

The reality is that we are HUMAN. It is okay to breakdown and cry sometimes. It is okay to fail. No one is perfect and if you think you know someone who is I can bet you a million dollars they are faking it. Nothing leaves you feeling more empty than pretending to be happy and solid when you are not. Society has put this unrealistic image of strength and perfection in our heads and we need to just snap out of it. Some of the most beautiful parts of us lie in our imperfections, flaws, and struggles.

The best part about human relationships is knowing that there are others out there sharing the same difficulties as you.


[Currently Listening to: Human by Christina Perri]


8 thoughts on “I can take so much, til I’ve had enough

  1. Pingback: how to win in the middle east | Musings of a Random Mind

  2. Pingback: Beautiful Expectations | litadoolan

  3. Last line is the best. Couldn’t agree with you more.
    I think the reason we all pretend to be strong is because we can’t afford to look weak in front of our peers, parents. We are too scared about what others will think when they will see us falter.
    Nice post

  4. Pingback: High Expectations | itsmayurremember

  5. Pingback: A Hope from our Long Lost Distant Relations | Wired With Words

  6. Pingback: Gregory Smith

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.