This life of yours is 100% your responsibility

Happy Monday everyone! I wanted to start this week’s blog off right with a really positive post. I recently got my tax return from working all year and let me tell you, it was something to be happy about. I worked full time all year and stayed committed to my jobs and it actually paid off. I mean don’t get me wrong, I have gotten a tax return before, but never this high. It really made me feel like I actually did something last year. But before I went and spent it all on useless things like I normally would, I decided to finally start acting like a grown up, so I did. I decided to look into getting a secured credit card to start building my credit back up, and guess what, I got approved for a $500 limit! Not only that but they checked my credit score and even though I won’t share the exact number on here I will say it has raised by over a hundred points since I came home in June. I seriously could not be more thrilled with myself.

The best part about all of this is that since I came home I paid off a pretty expensive ticket, pay for my own gas and car maintenance, and buy my own groceries because I live on my own. At first I was paying a really high rent for just getting back on my feet so I took it upon myself to get a smaller place that is much cheaper so now I am saving way more money. I am finally starting to feel like an adult for once in my life. I have had apartments before (shared with roommates) but that never felt anything like this. It is liberating being all alone doing things without relying on other people and without the fear that someone will take advantage or screw you over. I have collected debts since I was 18 years old and now I am starting to take responsibility for everything and take care of them. I never wanted to admit that any of it was my fault but once I did and started doing what I was supposed to do things actually started looking up.


Now, I am not trying to be super cliche here, but it is true when people tell you that living your life right you will reap the benefits. I am living proof of that right now. My credit score is climbing higher, I am getting a credit card again, I am living on my own! It is all so amazing! To make things even better I can finally afford to do the things I want to do: I am going to a Q&A for The Vampire Diaries/The Originals on Saturday at the Dolby Theater, I am seeing Tegan & Sara in concert, and taking a vacation with my best friend and siblings over the summer.

It is like I am living in a dream because my whole start to adulthood I swore all of this was impossible for me. I told myself that I would never achieve any of these goals or do any of the things I want to do. Like I wasn’t capable of living a normal life like everyone else in the world. But that is just bullshit I told myself to excuse my erratic behavior. I mean come on, we are SO much smarter and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We can literally do ANYTHING we set our minds to. I am not trying to preach to all of you of be all sunshine and rainbows, I would be lying if I said this was a walk in the park, and if I said that I didn’t try to give up time and time again. All I am saying is that I am finally seeing the results of my hard work and those dreams I used to have of a “normal” life are actually becoming my reality.

I could not be any happier than I am right now.


[Currently Listening: Closer by Tegan & Sara]


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