Long time no talk blog readers! So sorry for the delay, I have had some issues in my apartment that have been taking a lot of my attention and then softball this week (we won our game!) But I am here with a fresh post for you on a sort of memorable day.
Many of you know me, many of you don’t, and even some of those who know me do not know all I have been through the past few years. A year ago today, around 3 or 4pm, I was being released from a two week stay at Clark County Jail in Las Vegas, NV. I know what you’re thinking, and no, it wasn’t because I couldn’t afford a room at the Wynn haha. Last year was definitely one of the hardest years of my entire life (thus far) and before that I had some pretty rough times. But nothing compared to the year I spent living in Nevada. I won’t blame Vegas, although it is definitely not the easiest place to try to start your life over, especially if you have been known for your poor decision making. I guess I was just so wrapped up in constantly failing at everything I attempted to do and I just felt like I had one last shot to make a drastic change to be who I thought everyone wanted me to be. I just ran myself into the ground and as I was placed in handcuffs and put in the back of that police car I honestly never thought I would be able to pick myself back up.
I never thought I would be a girl that could survive a night in jail, and there I was sitting in a holding cell, not knowing how long I would be staring at those grey walls. The worst part was that I had been up for about 5 or 6 days (I could never keep track back then) and in a matter of hours I would be coming down hard. For those of you who have done meth, the comedown is not that bad, you just want to sleep and eat. But in jail the food is no fine dining experience and to be honest when I was high I usually wanted to stay high and avoided sleep as much as possible. Turns out it ended up being a blessing since I was stuck in a holding cell for almost two days and what would have normally been annoying and uncomfortable I just slept through. By the time I woke up I was moved to a normal cell with no roommate, made up my bed, and slept for another two days. Once that wore off the guards decided they had been kind enough to me and they started yelling at me for sleeping too much. The next two weeks was filled with a daily routine consisting of:
- Breakfast – 3:30am
- Lunch – 10:30am
- Break – Random times either morning or evening, I never paid attention
- Dinner – 4:30pm
The hours between dinner and breakfast were the worst. I had slept for so many days straight that I found it hard to sleep after that, and I was always just SO hungry, nothing ever filled me up enough. Finally after my last hearing they decided to court order me to rehab and upon my release I went directly to the airport. A year ago today I stepped out into the fresh air and sunlight and left Las Vegas.
I am proud to say that since that day I have grown so much as a woman and as a human bring all together and freedom feels pretty damn good.