Hello friends and fellow #Gleeks Lol. This post was inspired by the sneak peek of next week’s Glee episode: the Tribute to Cory Monteith (RIP). I won’t lie to you guys, the clip was like fifteen seconds long, and my eyes were already welling up with tears.
I know what you’re all thinking: “wow this girl is so lame” and yeah, I don’t really care what you think about the show Glee, I have watched it since season 1 and I absolutely LOVE IT. But it seriously isn’t even about the show. I mean yeah because I watch it I fell in love with his character, Finn Hudson, so yeah maybe it hit me a little hard. But it mainly got to me because it was such a complete and utter shock that he struggled with a heroin addiction. Of course once this happened I discovered how open he was with his past of addiction and struggles and his multiple attempts at rehab, but I just never really kept up with the media until recently, so I just never knew. And I know that celebrities are just like us and have the same problems and difficulties but it was just really hard for me to imagine, especially since I am just so used to seeing him on Glee or out dating his on screen girlfriend Lea Michelle, looking so happy and carefree. I think the worst part about this whole thing for me is the fact that there was actually a DEBATE on whether or not there should be a tribute episode for him on Glee due to the circumstances of how he died. Like there was a poll on the news for people to vote on this. I was so shocked at the world for actually having that as a discussion topic. Who the eff cares HOW the hell he died, he freaking DIED. Like for people to actually treat a death like that just because it was a drug overdose makes me sick. Drug addicts are people too and they have every right to be mourned and remembered. There was even controversy over Jane Lynch, fellow Glee co-star and well-known actor (40 year old virgin, etc.) and her tribute to him at the Emmy’s, even though the main purpose of her delivery was the dangers of addiction! It is just mind blowing.
This situation just added to my list of MANY reasons I HATE HATE HATE that drug, I have seen SOOOO many bad things happen to so many good people because of it and it makes me so angry I could just scream. I know all drugs are bad trust me, I have reasons for hating all of them, I have just seen a lot of friends fall far because of this one and it makes me so sad. When I went to rehab I met so many amazing people who just touched my soul you know? It just breaks my heart to think some of them could be out there using again, and the thought that ANY of them could really hurt themselves scares me beyond belief, it honestly keeps me up most nights. That is the worst part about overcoming your addiction: knowing that there is nothing you can do to save anyone. It just eats me up inside, that there are people out there struggling the way I have struggled, or even in worse ways than me, but I have to sit here knowing there’s nothing I can do. Trust me I have spent most of my life putting others before me, focusing all my energy on trying to fix them, but it never works. It just made me feel worse in the end because no matter how hard I tried nothing ever made anything better. But I will tell you one thing: if in the tragic event something horrible happened to one of my friends due to their addiction, you can be damn sure that I will give the most heartfelt speech, and I will do whatever I can to make sure that they are remembered.
To all my friends out there that I have met along my rocky path, I hope you are all doing well, and just know that I am always available to talk. If I am at work or something just text or leave a voice mail, because I care about ALL of you, and I miss you all so much! And to those of you that I do not know who may be dealing with similar struggles, do not wait until it is too late to get the help you need, life is way too good to give up!
Stay strong everyone.