Hello again everyone! I am going to start off this blog with another real life scenario. During lunch break yesterday my friend and I decided to go to In n Out with some other coworkers. As we approach the door I see a guy, mid twenties, sitting outside the entrance on a camping backpack. My initial thought is “ugh I bet this guy is going to ask me for change” but then my thought process abruptly switches to “hm this guy is kind of cute”. Issues right? Like how is it that I go from being totally irritated and bothered by a beggar one second to wanting to dump out my pockets, give him all my change, and invite him to join me for lunch? It’s like a sickness it really is.
Now show me an attractive guy who wears a a suit to a good job and what do I think? “I’ve got the perfect friend to set this guy up with, I should introduce them so that in a few years I can go to their wedding and cry about how sad and depressing my life is before going home to find my boyfriend on the couch playing video games smoking pot in his pajamas”. Hahaha seriously though, you’re all laughing, and that’s my life.
For as long as I can remember I always went for the typical “bad boy”. The guy who slept around or had a drug habit or even a criminal record. I mean the only real love I have experienced was with a guy who not only had no education and sold pot for a living, but he also spent months in jail, hit me, and cheated on me in the end. Now if that’s not a guy to take home to mom and dad I don’t know who is!
I don’t know what it is that makes me do this to myself. I know it’s typical to just assume “daddy issues” and I guess that could be the case. I mean my father is a successful attorney and although you would assume I would want to date someone successful like him, sometimes girls just want the total opposite. I hear it all the time, how confusing girls are, and trust me I am with you on that! Trust me I think I speak for all girls when I say we would want nothing more than to understand why we do the things we do! I guess it is kind of like drugs, just another thing to give us a huge temporary rush that we need more and more of to keep us satisfied, and just one more thing to become addicted to.
There is a quote by Sylvia Plath that says:
“I desire the things which will destroy me in the end”
I guess that is just the only explanation I can give all of you. There is no real rhyme or reason for why we do these things, everyone says that if we do drugs or put ourselves in dangerous situations, that we clearly just want to die. But that is not the case. Sometimes we just crave the chance to see how far we can push the limits and still survive. In the end that’s all life is really about right? Survival.